10am
We have both had a little bit of a crash and feel a little low - not homesick low (well perhaps a little - could do with an Amanda hug) but just so frustrated with ourselves still with the language thing.
Yesterday when I was walking up the hill to a study at 8a.m it hit me. Here I was in a 3rd world country walking by myself in a neighborhood that if in NZ would probably be condemned to conduct a study in a language I still haven't got come to grips with yet - who did I think I was kidding? I desperately wanted to be in safe old Tauranga doing what I had done all my life - speaking and preaching in English. By the time I got to the house I was really doubting myself. I coped ok and I know it is not my words that would be what reached the womans heart anyway but still I feel extremely disappointed in myself - Mark says we are probably being too hard on ourselves and I guess he is right. We would like to wake up one morning and know we can go out and communicate with whoever we meet. Maybe we are just missing our lifelines - the other Gringos from Gringo Hill.
It's 3 pm and we have just come back from return visits - we walked for miles and no one was home so still not feeling back on top of things. I am a bit concerned that I won't be able to handle 70 per month and am considering staying a continuous auxiliary pioneer come September. We had to go out this afternoon as I had one hour left in my time for this month and I have to tell you it was hard work. Maybe I am better off not killing myself! Mark will be ok - he is stronger and able to walk up the hills easier - we shall see though - things may change in the next couple of months.
We have both had a little bit of a crash and feel a little low - not homesick low (well perhaps a little - could do with an Amanda hug) but just so frustrated with ourselves still with the language thing.
Yesterday when I was walking up the hill to a study at 8a.m it hit me. Here I was in a 3rd world country walking by myself in a neighborhood that if in NZ would probably be condemned to conduct a study in a language I still haven't got come to grips with yet - who did I think I was kidding? I desperately wanted to be in safe old Tauranga doing what I had done all my life - speaking and preaching in English. By the time I got to the house I was really doubting myself. I coped ok and I know it is not my words that would be what reached the womans heart anyway but still I feel extremely disappointed in myself - Mark says we are probably being too hard on ourselves and I guess he is right. We would like to wake up one morning and know we can go out and communicate with whoever we meet. Maybe we are just missing our lifelines - the other Gringos from Gringo Hill.
It's 3 pm and we have just come back from return visits - we walked for miles and no one was home so still not feeling back on top of things. I am a bit concerned that I won't be able to handle 70 per month and am considering staying a continuous auxiliary pioneer come September. We had to go out this afternoon as I had one hour left in my time for this month and I have to tell you it was hard work. Maybe I am better off not killing myself! Mark will be ok - he is stronger and able to walk up the hills easier - we shall see though - things may change in the next couple of months.
6 comments:
"An ode to you both"
Sarah had the faith & courage needed to leave Ur, excluding being pregnant at 90 you are a fine example of her!
Walking many miles and combating those hills, dynamic energy Jah gives you because you are doing his will.
So what your speaking spanish may not be at its best, keep smiling persevere Amigos, Jah will do the rest!
You feel Mark is stronger that he possibly could run, but he knows with you Beth 2 heads are better than 1.
Jah's blessings are rich he adds no pain with it,keep you goal on fulltime service he will not let your slip!
Your experiences, joy and trials you share with us all are so encouraging, helps me to stay strong that I may not fall.
Better finish leave space for others to write. Us Scotts are so grateful you came into our life!!
lots of hugs from us allxxx
ps try this website members.aol.com/alvareze/spanish/
frame.html you will find it very useful.
Scottys: You make me cry - and I know why -
You think we help you but it's the other way round
So I'm so very glad - your friendship we found!
Gracias mis amigos
Morning - we all have moments when we doubt ourselves - but you know in your heart you are doing the right thing. Anyway I thought that witnessing wasn't always about speaking sometimes its a visual thing. Those people you speak with will be appreciating that you did give up a 'safe old Tauranga life' and it won't always be by what you say it may be by what you do (have done). As far as hours are concerned the bros won't condemn you for not making the hour requirement - and Jehovah knows what you are trying to achieve. So don't think 'I can't do' - just think 'I will try and do it', and even if you don't make the hours it won't mean you are a failure. I know its been your goal to have the whole family in full time service come September and you are well on the way to reaching that goal. Beth many of us would love to be doing exactly what you are doing and I can tell you that if it was me in your shoes my '3 month crash' would have arrived about 3 days in!
By the way little old Tauranga - its 3 degrees this morning - and your roof has been repainted white!Brrrr
Oh dear you both need a great big hug I can see that so it is on its way (xxxxxxxxxxx) there does that feel better. Dont beat yourselves up. Yes it might be good to be back in little old Tga. but that would only last a day and you would want to be back doing what you love. You feel that you are not making progress and wondering why you are walking up the hill to teach some one the truth in a language you can barely speak, one day a new sister will come to you and say yes you didnt make much sense but she knew you spoke the tuth because you gave up life in NZ to come and find her. Keep up the good work we miss you heaps too and wish we could do what you are doing. Here is another hug (xxxxxxx) dont forget to share now lotsalove Catherine
Ok you lot - I am now a blubbering mess but I have to admit what you say is so true - we don't really want to be home just yet and we know in our heart of hearts we are progressing - poco a poco (little by little). Thank you everyone!
One day you'll just start thinking in Spanish and you won't even realise it. I think you're doing wonderfully - you've only been there three months, after all! Just think of all the memories you're going to have for the rest of your lives. :) Love you. xxx
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